This just in. Experts predict man who starts every fifth game probably can't save season. Roger Clemens, aka "The Rocket," is scheduled to make his first Major League appearance in over eight months on Saturday against the lowly Pirates. "I am going to go out on a limb and say that this player who will perform in approximately 20 games for the rest of the year will, at the absolute most, have a positive impact on roughly 20 games," said ESPNs Rob Neyer recently. We appreciate the thoughtful insight Rob, but after weeks of never-ending banter about Clemens on TV and radio, we expect a little more. The Yankees are below .500 and 10.5 games behind the Red Sox at the moment. It does not take a genius to see that a 44 year old man who will pitch no more than 100 of the team's remaining 936 innings will have very little impact on the outcome of their awful season. Pitching in the AL east is a far-cry from tossing batting practice to your son down on the ranch. I can't wait to see the headlines in the Times when the D-Rays move ahead of the Yankees in the standings. I can hear Bon Jovi's "Living On A Prayer" blasting from the wedding across the street at the moment. This seems very fitting to the Yanks' current situation.
I met someone last night who is related to a rocket scientist. When asked what said relative actually does, she responded: "I don't know, I think he tests new rockets by shooting them off in the middle of nowhere and seeing what happens. Wouldn't that be awesome?" Yes, it certainly would, but I think it may be a bit more scientific than that.
The Fourth of July is right around the corner and you know what that means... Bottle Rockets! Big brown grocery-sacks filled with bottle rockets and other explosive goodness. I'm not sure what the law regarding the sale of fireworks is here in NY, but just to be safe, please send fireworks. If you do not have our address, contact myself or Al immediately and we can get this pyrotechnic plan in motion.
In other non-rocket related news, Al and I are alive and well in the Big Bad City. I apologize for not updating in awhile. There just hasn't been much to write about lately. We have moved into our apartment and life is good. I am starting work tomorrow and Al is still in search of work. Life feels relatively normal here now and there has been little excitement worth noting. I could update everyone daily about the odd differences between life in the 'hood and life where you are, but I won't. I have a feeling this blog will soon turn into a space to rant about odd things that flow through my mind frequently. Feign interest.
Apartment pictures taken with Al's phone:
3 comments:
I love your apartment-it looks very
chic and comfortable. No way am I
sending you any bottle rockets. You know how we have always had issues when it comes to fireworks.
Remind me to get your address next time we talk. Grandma Toni says
they are having auditions for "Are
You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader"
there and you should look into it.
I think so too-afterall you did get the gold rope on your gown at
graduation.Have a nice day today-
Love Always
Mom
Uh, holy apartment batman.
Very nice, I will be honored to pass out on the floor of such a fine abode.
I'm back in God's country. Sort of depressed. I miss you, I will call.
The cards made up some serious ground while I was away, first night back and they lose. I've already applied for my new visa.
Nice apartment Jake!
Are you sure you wouldn't like to have water dynamite? Then you could try blowing up YOUR toilet!! HaHa! There's a memory I won't soon forget!
Love ya, Kristy
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